The year for breakthrough — rebounding from a breakdown without losing your mind
Greetings! It sure has been a while since I took to pen (er, keys?) and rattled off about something I’ve become super passionate about. I think it might have to do with the turn of a decade into 2020, or recent channels I am using for stress relief, or maybe even some resolutions that are making me more efficient so I have the time to pour into sharing my thoughts.
In any case, I’ve noticed that there is one thing our small business has been lacking for the longest time. Relationships. I know that sounds funny, because our whole business was built on relational retainers℠ (I know, I like to sneak in the cheesey service mark where I can!). I believe it is understandable for a business to become blind to, or ethnocentric around the things that make them unique, but there’s nothing like a wake up call for a leader when the wheels really fall off and you’re sitting at your desk wondering how you got off track and why’d you ever think your vehicle was built for such rocky terrain.
The Darkest of places — The Abyss
Yes, I found myself there. In that dark place where you can only see an exit far in the distance, but because you have been there so long, the light is so piercing and bright that it feels more comfortable to remain in the abyss. Even the feelings of shame, rejection and apathy are easier to contend with than the bright hot truth. Alas, no matter where you go in the abyss, the light is always visible. It reminds you it is just a few steps away, with its warmth and the odd interruption as shadows pass by — where you can hear others and you realise you’re not alone, but you can’t imagine anything could ever move you from the dark. I was often overcome with the emotion of sitting beside myself and judging the ‘weak me’. What a strange feeling.
Was it depression? Was I just super sad? Is that what hopelessness feels like? I do not know. I can only express how I felt and how things unravelled during this time. No bueno. It had to stop. I knew that if I continued this path I would lose everything. My business, my family, my friends and even myself. So, with just two months left in the year I had had enough. I needed to start making changes that would lead me to the light. If you know me, you probably are thinking: “that doesn’t sound like Marcus at all!” - and you wouldn’t be wrong. Like many people, I just happened to be good at hiding it. I probably achieved this mostly by focusing on other people’s ‘darkness’ and helping them through their unique problems, but without consistent checking in on myself, it quickly overcame me and became a base for my soul, which started to cause ruin in the things I touched. It threatened the one thing I held most dear, my relationships.
That’s when I knew I needed to change. So I decided to run, every day, for 60 days.
This section of our blog is about how that consistency helped me and how it has changed my life (It sill is, I’m on day 110 and ran a half marathon last weekend!) for the better. It’s also about how the good habits transitioned into and transformed my business. I’m inviting you today to join me on this journey. I’ll be cataloguing my entire year, plus sharing with you the consistent improvements in my life, including my marriage, with my children and with the people I work with, both staff and clients. I know running isn’t for everyone. I certainly didn’t think it was for me when I started, but this is much more than that — it’s about courageous consistency in everything. Living life with intent and starting every day with a thirst to become better, or at least ‘beat the me' of yesterday’.
I hope this message can inspire you, the reader into paying close attention to the leading indicators for success — and how easily one can overcome darkness, by running straight the $@#* through it.
If you’d like to join me on this journey, you can sign up below. I’ll soon be adding a daily entry, where I will be unpacking my run, what I learnt from it, what I am choosing to apply in my life, my business, etc. I’m going to rebuild my relationships this year by becoming vulnerable and leaving it all on the field. This is my battle and my story — one day it will end, but I pray others can find some through reading this. If you’re interested in following my running schedule - connect with me on STRAVA below.
Until next time friends. Cheers!
